First off, Advance auto parts is offering a coupon for $20 off purchases of $100, $30 off $150. Another great opportunity if if you buy $100+ of merchandise, you can receive $50BB on future $100+ orders.
If you buy one steering wheel, a gazooinkdeydoink, and a catalytic converter for the exhaust system, you've already made great strides towards this coupon saving serious dinero compadre. Now listen here you Mexican confederate sons of Sam, Advance Auto Parts will also give you $20 Off $75!
Use the coupon code BIG50 when you make this here purchase. It seems they are giving off more free love than Newt gives off slimy excrement. Advance Auto Parts is even throwing back $50 Off $200. I built some connections in the big house you see, connections that helped me learn that a car has window shield wipers, spark plugs, and an instrument known as a speedometer.
I gas up my tank with German beer and Spaetzel and then blow feces on your cannibal ancestors. I was also exposed to glue fumes for 3 years in isolation in the clink.
But as I was saying, I got this here exclusive coupon for 15% off all orders, just use coupon code: AAP15OFF Monthly Oil Change Specials are running now too, you yellow bellied timid sweet fingernail tidy mothers! Advance Auto Parts!
Well the missus is a calling, seems she got that newt stuck somewhere in her pannus. Did I mention my sweetheart weighs in at 400 pounds? For breakfast she eats donuts and soda, and for lunch she eats donuts and soda, and then for dinner she eats donuts, soda, and lean cuts of organic, fairly traded buffalo tripe. Her breath can sure be disgusting, but that's love aint it?
Oops. That newt just got eaten by Lila Bell, my goodness!
